Once upon a time there was 3 tuatara they lived with there dad and mom. They always use to get in a lot of trouble by breaking stuff and fighting.Their parents kicked the 3 tuatara out.When they were kicked out they were still fighting so then they spitted up and built there own house.The first tuatara built his house with straw.The 2nd tuatara built his house out of wood.The 3rd tuatara built his house out of brick.A hoiho came by and tried to destroy the 3 tuatara house’s.The hoiho came to the first tuatara house that was built out of straw,the hoiho crushed it but the tuatara managed to get out before he got crushed.the tuatara ran to his brother and says “A hoiho just crushed my home can I come into your house please”Then his brother says yes.All of the sudden the hoiho comes and crushed the 2 tuatara house.The 2 tuatara runs to The 3rd tuatara and asked if they could live there, he said yes.They saw the hoiho coming they quickly ran in,but the hoiho tried to crush the tuatara's house but he couldn't destroy it but his feet was starting to hurt so he tried one more time but he broke his feet so he ran and wasn't coming back again so the the 3 tuatara lived happily ever after,The end.
Good story Tino,
ReplyDeleteWhat does house men in Maori? That would have been a good word to change in your story.
You need to slow down on your proof reading and make sure you read your work out loud and slowly. The last sentence is verrrryyyyyyyy long, think about how you could break it into 3 sentences instead of one??
Good work...Miss P
Kia ora Tino,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Selui from Hay Park School. This story very cool and what I learned from you was Tuatara its a Maori word I never knew. I enjoyed the part you said They always use to be in trouble by breaking stuff. I love your story Because its about 3 little tuatara. Good story
Selui